I've Lost the Light

[TatlTael]

All I Really Know is Life's too Short

A quiet sigh slipped through her lips as she stared into the sky. Clouds twisted and curled there, free of the burdens that life among the clans could bring.
Lightpaw, where are you? she silently called into the depths of her own mind, as if it would bring forth her sister. I'm sorry... For what she'd done, Starclan would probably send her to the dark forest. She'd driven away her best friend, and their clan's training medicine cat because she couldn't understand. How could she have been so stupid? I was just upset, she moaned inwardly. If only it were possible to fix this travesty.
Nobody else understood why Brookshade blamed herself for her sister's disappearance. But she couldn't help but wonder if her sister had wandered off because of the way she'd been treated. Brookshade had been so upset that Lightpaw had decided to be a medicine cat. She couldn't understand why she wouldn't just be a warrior like she was supposed to be. Like they were supposed to be together.
It was childish, definitely, for her to think that way. She still regretted the thought even crossing her mind. Yet, it was difficult not to, when she'd been so full of dreams about them being warriors together. And the more Lightpaw had learned about being a medicine cat, it felt like the less they had in common.
"Ugh...this is stupid," she muttered allowed, giving her head a good shake. She was supposed to be trying to do something useful for the clan! Moping about over Lightpaw wouldn't help anyone, and it definitely wouldn't bring her sister back.
Her mouth opened to inhale the air around her as she focused on smelling the wilting breeze. The dull scent of pray washed across her nose and tongue. Nothing here, she sighed to herself, standing up to move on. Perhaps further from camp? She began striding further out, mouth hanging open just slightly as she continued her search for prey.

tags: open
words: 329
notes: xxx

coded by DESTINY of Broken Kingdoms

[Running]

Tangled patches of trees dotted the slopes of ThornClan territory, drab green against the more muted browns and grays. A lean brown-furred tom padded carefully through the maze of thorns, surveying his surroundings.

Everywhere he looked, the world revealed stories to his keen eyes and ears. Each action of clanmate, prey, enemy, and nature itself left a mark. They were patterns he had spent moons training himself to recognize during patrols and training and hunting sessions, and even while sharing tongues. A sense that went beyond just the mere scenting that most cats relied upon.

Perhaps it was because of his upbringing. An apprentice trained through the Great Return and the establishment of the clans in new territories was bound to have a different perspective. Travelling through unknown territory gave one a knack for navigation and exploring that cats who grew up in established territories, having the answers often handed to them by their mentors, could rarely obtain. Yet of his generation, only Longstride had been truly drawn toward reading the world around him.

Most of the prey in this region had seemed to retreat into their burrows or had sought better pastures. The land was strained by the presence of so many predators-just another reason the clan sought to extend their borders. Longstride considered giving the hunt a rest and returning to the camp. Despite his detour to escort that loner kit to the border, he had amassed a decently sized cache. Well, decent for ThornClan’s prey-poor territory as leaf-fall began to wane.

The arrival of the prisoner might have been a distraction, but Longstride knew the battle was not far off. He had not lived through the old wars-he and his brother had been mere kits in the wars’ dying days in the old territories. Still, he could detect the tension. It was not unlike the stories he had heard from the elders or older warriors on nights when the cold winds howled. Claws that had been left to dull were now being sharpened.

The one great battle Longstride had fought in-Adder’s assault-had become legend, but it had come like a sudden summer storm from clear skies, the rogues descending on the camp without warning and leaving the clan to scramble to their defenses. This time was different. The tension, the growing bravado in conversations, the extra encouragement given by the leadership and the numerous meetings among the more senior members of the clan who knew how to organize battles. ThornClan was on the offensive, with the advantage of preparation and training, of choosing when and where to strike.

Still, despite the promises of glory and the clan’s admittedly desperate need for more prey, Longstride couldn’t quell the hint of anxiety in his chest just as much as he was loathe to mention it to his clanmates. Memories of the bloodshed after the battle with the rogues returned to him, like an old wound that would fester from time to time. The reek of death and decay, the shattered limbs and holes in the camp walls, the hushed yowls of defiance and the screeches of terror as the remaining rogues were driven out or slaughtered. The victory that was only half a victory.

Much could be done to prevent that end. He should request to the deputy to be sent on more border patrols. While his tracking skills served the clan well by providing fresh-kill, he realized during his trip to the border that assessing the mood and condition of their potential targets might be vital. As sending spies directly into the territory would be foolhardy, as they could be used as leverage if caught, Longstride’s skills, although indirect, might prove useful.

A few broken twigs, some scuffed up needles: he saw the signs of another cat before he caught sight of her. Luckily from scent he was able to discern its origin was a clanmate: Brookshade. Out of habit more than anything else, he briefly followed her path, noting where it appeared she had stopped or doubled back. Given the indirect nature of the route and the correlation between the stops and potentially lucrative prey locations, she was likely hunting. Of course, that was an outcome with a high probability anyways. This far in from the border, it was acceptable for warriors and proficient apprentices to hunt alone, although he wouldn’t be surprised if the leader started enforcing even warriors to hunt in groups.

Longstride considered leaving her to her hunt, then decided that conversation might be useful. Knowing what patches of territory were not yielding prey at the moment saved precious time, and it was impossible for one warrior to cover the territory in its entirety in one sun. Thus he continued to follow her trail until he spotted her several fox-lengths ahead. Not wanting to approach her from behind, he padded around her in a wide radius until he was in clear view of her. The faint wind carried his scent toward her as he nodded in greeting. No need to startle her mid-hunt and possibly send all the prey from here to Brightstone into hiding.

[TatlTael]

All I Really Know is Life's too Short

For a moment, she could have sworn she spotted a bird flittering among the tree tops. Of course, that meant little as she could not catch a bird flying so far above head. Perhaps she had only imagined it. Still, the thought of a succulent robin made her stomach lurch for want.
Brookshade paused again, lifting her nose to the wind and inhaling deeply. Thus far, she'd found nothing, not even signs that prey had been around recently. All the scents in the air felt like they were days old. The burden of supporting the clan weighed heavily on her mind, emphasizing her feeling of uselessness. With leafbare on the horizon, it of course, was not her fault that there was so little prey about, yet she felt like she should be able to find something. A rumbling pulled hungrily at her stomach as if she needed the reminder she hadn't eaten today. The plan had been to not eat until she'd been able to bring some prey back to camp, but at this rate that wouldn't be happening.
Again, the warrior stopped in her tracks, her head dipping slightly as her teeth gritted against each other, and her body tensed. There was no doubt everyone was already feeling the effects of coming leafbare, but Brookshade felt as though her wallowing in self pity made her the weakest of them all. Her legs shook slightly as her belly gurgled again, almost as if it were agreeing with her worthlessness.
Brookshade's head instantly rose as a new scent drifted across her senses. Her head whipped around, fur prickling just slightly in her embarrassment as her clanmate, a tom by the name of Longstride, approached her. His head dipped in a traditional greeting, and she quickly, though subtly returned the gesture. On the back of her neck, the fur was beginning to stand on end in a soft blush of embarrassment.
Starclan, I hope he didn't see me looking so pathetic, she moaned inwardly. Her chest instantly puffed out and she held her head high with a pride she could certainly show off, even if she didn't feel it. Her golden eyes were instantly half-lidded in a penetrating stare. I hope my fur at least looks half way decent.
"Longstride," Brookshade greeted the tom with her traditionally cool tone. She'd never talked to him much, but she'd heard a lot about this peculiar tom. Everyone knew he was an amazing tracker, and Brookshade had considered asking him about his odd methods before but there was just something off putting about this tom. Perhaps she just felt a bit cold towards him because he liked to listen to the elders' stories too, and that often meant she couldn't sneak near enough to hear them without being noticed. "Hunting?" Of course he was. What a stupid question.
Brookshade's ears flicked uncomfortably as she turned her gaze away from the tom to look the other direction. While her posture maintained that she was just looking around casually, she definitely was trying to avoid his gaze.

tags: open
words: 509
notes: xxx

coded by DESTINY of Broken Kingdoms

[Running]

Longstride blinked calmly as the younger warrior moved sharply, startled at his admittedly sudden arrival. She recovered quickly, prickled fur supplanted by a head held high and a proud stance, golden eyes peering at him almost dismissively. Her words were cold.

The two hadn’t spoken much-Longstride mostly shared tongues with his own generation, and when they weren’t around, tended to seek out the elders and occasionally the senior warriors who were not best friends with his parents. Strange what a difference only a few moons could make.

“Brookshade.”

Longstride could sense her obvious discomfort, and as she avoided his eyes, he did not make an effort to force eye contact. Perhaps it would have been best if he left her alone, yet manners indicated that abruptly leaving would only make matters more awkward. Besides, they were one clan. Even if they did not all agree or mesh in terms of personality, they were a single community and fighting unit, united by tradition and heritage.

Wingfoot hadn’t seen it that way. Then again, there was a reason no one in the clan spoke of Wingfoot.

“For the most part. Had to escort a stray loner kit out of the territory,” he replied. Not surprisingly, the rogue intrusions had lessened greatly after Adder’s assault, but there were occasional trespassers here and there. Which was admittedly frustrating, given the effort ThornClan placed into marking their borders and cultivating a reputation for being fierce and ruthless.

“How has the prey been running here? I’ve kept to the forested patches on the DuskClan-veering side of the territory for the most part,” he said, gesturing with his tail behind him. “I was considering the Black Stones, although likely the prey has been driven into hiding there.”

The sleek and jagged stones that littered a region of the mountainside sometimes drew basking reptiles, but they were also prime locations for sparring. He heard that other clans tended to use flat and empty clearing with gentle coatings of sand or grass or needles for their battle training, which just seemed foolish. What self-respecting cat would expect their battles to be on clear ground when most of the territories were littered with obstacles and hazards? One had to train themselves to adjust their movements to the terrain rather than fall into dangerous ruts of mindless muscle memory. The unforgiving sharp shards of stone taught ThornClan cats from an early age that tooth and claw were far from the only things that could injure a cat in combat.

With battle tensions high, therefore, apprentices or off-duty warriors often frequented that place, giving little time for the silence and calm to settle and the prey to find the courage to return.

True, he could probably assess the state of this region of the territory on his own, but it would be rude to presume he knew more than the cat whom he had just asked. Cats did not respond well to insinuations that they knew less about something they had worked on, even if there was truth in it. Besides, he had only made a quick perusal of this region relative to a cat who had been hunting for at least some time. Two different sets of eyes would always see the world differently, and thus there was sometimes value in hearing what others had to say.

[TatlTael]

All I Really Know is Life's too Short

There was something odd about the tone of Longstride's voice that made curiosity prickle in Brookshade's chest. He'd always stuck out as different, but the fact that he sounded different just seemed peculiar to her. At the same time, it made listening to his voice rather nice, even if he made her uncomfortable.
    "A loner kit?" she echoed the words, her ears flicking back slightly in annoyance. Why did it seem that Thornclan's territory was just open to anyone who wanted to walk through it these days? They were the strongest clan! Even hungry like they were now, they should be feared! A gentle hiss leaked through her teeth, and the tip of her tail might have flicked were it all still there. Even if they were small, Thornclan deserved more respect.
    "I haven't found any prey, yet," Brookshade admitted. Reluctance to admit so weighed heavily on her voice, but her pride didn't once fade from her posture. "I must admit, I have been rather distracted, and thus, not at the top of my game." She wan't about to say she was a poor hunter, and most cats certainly knew that was true. She had quite the talent for tracking and grace, which made her an excellent hunter.
    Now that he seemed to be chatting her up, Brookshade began to relax slightly. Maybe Longstride wasn't so bad. Still, she didn't know much about the tom other than what gossip told her, so she wasn't going to act like they were friends.
    Her gaze moved back to the tom, glancing slowly from his feet to his head. Being rather petite, it felt somewhat like this tom towered above her. He was larger than most tom in Thornclan, and most toms in Thornclan were already pretty big compared to Brookshade. She wondered briefly how such a large tom could be good at tracking.
    His methods must be virtually unheard of, she thought, ignoring the fact that he'd already snuck up on her and clearly could be quite quiet.
    "I imagine Black Stones is empty with the racket," she agreed. "Perhaps under the moonlight it would be more active. Have you caught much already? You were already gone when I left."
    Brookshade almost cringed at her last words. She hadn't meant to mention that she'd known he was gone when she'd left. It certainly didn't suit her image to depict that she was concerned enough with clanmates like Longstride to know that they hadn't been around. However, quickly catching herself, Brookshade prevented showing signs of her mistake in letting on too much.
    I wonder if he would tell me more about the way he tracks, she thought. Perhaps this meeting with Longstride wasn't so inconvenient. What if he could help her find Lightpaw? After all, Longstride had lost a sibling, hadn't he? Wouldn't he know that pain. Admittedly, Brookshade had no idea why Longstride's sibling had left. She didn't remember his name, and only vaguely what he looked like. She better remembered the look on her clanmates' faces when she tried to bring him up. It was the sort of thing nobody seemed to want to talk about.

tags: open
words: 525
notes: xxx

coded by DESTINY of Broken Kingdoms

[Running]

Longstride shared Brookshade’s annoyance at the fact that cats still had the nerve to waltz into ThornClan territory. It was a shame that what should be a keep out sign to any cat with a whisker of sense could sometimes almost be an invitation. At least it wasn’t as bad as in the early days not long after the Great Return, where Longstride swore there must be a rogue convention in the steep, jagged lands given all the intrusions. StarClan forbid the territory return to that state again.

“Either her parents failed to inform her of the consequences of crossing territory marks or she was at the age when rebellion against sense is most appealing,” he said, shaking his head. “I warned her she would be driven out more forcefully for a repeated trespass.”

Longstride noticed the reluctance in her voice as she admitted she had an empty cache so far-not an uncommon reaction, really. ThornClanners were proud cats. He wondered what the cause of the “distraction” might be, but didn’t pry. He didn’t respond immediately, however, in case the silence drew her to add more. Instead she moved on to suggest Black Stones.

She winced at her last words, although he didn’t comment on it. It was interesting that she had noticed his absence, but there could be a number of reasons for that. Still, if it made her uncomfortable, he wouldn’t push for information, although he could not stop his mind from recording observations and making conjectures. While the standoffish she-cat had relaxed her stance somewhat, Longstride stepped carefully as always, observant but cautious about actually using what he learned. To her query about whether he had caught any prey he nodded, then paused pensively before speaking again.

”Sometimes you do have those days where you’re just not where you should be. And that’s okay. Daily success is an impossible standard, even if we all strive toward it,” he said. ”Now, when that happens for days on end-that is when you know that something has to be changed, whether it is in the world around you or within yourself. Possibly both,” he added with a wry smile. He looked briefly at the tangle of twisted branches above them, where no birds or squirrels were presently perched, and beyond it, the overcast sky, then looked back at Brookshade.

“As for Black Stones, you’d be surprised the amount of training that has gone on in the dark,” Longstride said with a faint chuckle. He lowered his voice even though they were deep within their territory. “We’d be fools to strike DuskClan when the shadows are deepest, yet a night assault against SmokeClan may not be ruled out. With either outcome, we may still need to brace ourselves against nocturnal counterattacks.” From stories of the old wars, however, Longstride could infer the reasoning of the older warriors. Once again, he couldn’t help but wonder which clan’s territory ThornClan would seize, as fighting two clans was hardly ideal. Harestar had ordered the border patrols to strongly mark borders a few tail-lengths into the two clans that directly bordered ThornClan territory, but no other commands had been made thus far. A test with the result still unknown.

One would think he would know more about the plans given his parents’ prestige-Mountainmist and Daybreak were some of the most powerful and respected warriors in ThornClan. He should be paying more attention to clan politics. As much as he was mostly a cog in a machine, following orders of his superiors to the best of his ability, not knowing the big picture could be perilous indeed. In more ways than one.

[TatlTael]

All I Really Know is Life's too Short

At least the tom didn't seem too intent on making her suffer through her shame at her lack of prey. He was right, no cat should expect perfection every time, yet she felt foolish as one of the better hunters in the clan at being unable to catch more. Longstride wasn't a gossiper, though, as far as she knew, so at least he wouldn't go making fun of her. To be honest, since Lightpaw had gone missing moons ago, she hadn't felt like herself but at least she'd been a good hunter. Perhaps that was why she found it so frustrating.
He had a point about Black Stones too. She had trained at night a few times herself when she was an apprentice, though now she rarely did so. She'd just assumed it was a once in a while thing. Even so, it was probably quieter at night regardless. If anything dared emerge from its den there, that's when it would come out. Much of the prey had probably evacuated all together from the area since Thornclan moved in.
"It would be better if we could practice in other clans territories," she mused thoughtfully. "Then we could learn how to fight on their land too. Still, no clan fights like Thornclan!" Her chest puffed up slightly with pride. "Even at night I doubt even Duskclan could beat us in our own home." That was more her naiveté speaking than anything else. Brookshade had only been a warrior for about four moons now.
"What do you think the other clans will do?" she asked, referring to the order to move their borders. She wasn't about to pretend she knew anything about the thought behind it, but there was a tension in the air about what the other clans would do. Would they attack? Would they just move them back? To be honest, the result would show if they even took Thornclan seriously.
"Do you remember the borders being set in the first place?" Of course Brookshade didn't. She hadn't even been born yet.

tags: open
words: 341
notes: xxx

coded by DESTINY of Broken Kingdoms

[Running]

“True, though nothing is like a beacon to your intrusion than a fight.” Longstride laughed as the image of a perplexed patrol coming upon a pair of enemy clan cats fighting within their territory.

He was amused by her confidence and faith in the clan. No clan did fight like ThornClan. There was a certain brutal grace to their style that came from living in a territory teeming with sharp edges, steep slopes, and windtorn plains. Still, that did not mean that no clan could beat ThornClan.

Was it better to doubt or to have false confidence, he wondered? There was a very narrow ridge in between that might approach the truth of things, but most slid to one side or the other. Doubt could hold one back, but false confidence held equal perils,

“It’s difficult to say how they will respond, especially given the lost Gathering,” he mused. The Gathering that was supposed to happen several suns ago but no clan had dared approach the clearing as clouds swarmed the sky and an unusually late thunderstorm shook the land, hammering the territories with rain. “And it will be some time until matters would be discussed at another Gathering. I doubt the small shift in border markings would result in any ambassadors being sent over-it might be seen as an overreaction on the part of the other clans. ThornClan has agitated about our territory for seasons at Gatherings, and the other clans have at best only offered us the weakest of concessions. I…I believe they prefer to see us weakened. Whether they openly admit it or conceal it behind a web of sanctimonious justifications. ThornClan has always been a threat to them. Intentionally or not, we’ve fostered a reputation for cold-heartedness and a certain lack of ethics.

“They want us to be weak and likely see us as weak. They might joke and complain and tell their kits stories about the battle-hungry and ruthless ThornClanners, but it is possible that none actually believe we could strike. The wars were a part of the past, discarded in the old territories. Even those who might expect a skirmish would scoff at the idea of a full-scale assault.”

Longstride didn’t remember much of the politics surrounding the establishment of borders. He and his brother were too taken up by the thrill of exploring a new territory and the disappointment at the fact that they couldn’t investigate the other territories and savor the new sights there as well. “The apprentices weren’t involved in the talks about establishing borders, but I remember anger. Resentment. We were cornered and exhausted. The peace was too valuable, too sacred after all the losses in the Wars and on the Great Return. If we struck we would have faced the ire of the clans, tribe, and in the opinion of many cats, StarClan. It is possible a war at the time might have doomed us all, clan and tribe alike. Besides, at that time the territory did not seem as bad. It was only under stress of seasons and the influx of predators that we truly realized how fragile the balance is on this mountainside, like the earth in a drought cracks and frays.”

[TatlTael]

All I Really Know is Life's too Short

A lack of ethics? Brookshade had to hold back a hiss of annoyance. Longstride had a point, and she certainly knew the other clans had no glorious view of Thornclan as they should. However, wasn't it much more unethical to give a clan smaller territory so that they would never be a threat? They were purposefully weakening Thornclan!
    "They should fear us," she snarled. "They probably look at us as a joke." Brookshade had said it as much for her self as she had as a response to Longstride. The she-cat let out a soft sigh, but her chest puffed up proudly after a few seconds, head held high again. "Well they'll regret thinking that way in time, I'm sure." She gave a sort of nod as if assuring herself.
    "It sounds to me like we were tricked into accepting the worst territory," she continued begrudgingly. "Smallest and hardest to hunt in. Still, I suppose that we survive here really does prove us to be the strongest clan, even if we're the smallest." She laughed shortly, and a bit bitterly, her stub of a tail flicking slightly.
    "You're easier to talk to than I thought you would be, Longstride," Brookshade added. Her large golden eyes glanced the tom up and down thoughtfully. He'd always seemed so distant to her, and strange. Perhaps not unfriendly, but she certainly hadn't imagined sitting and having a conversation with him. And right now, though she loathed to admit it, she probably needed to talk to someone badly.
    "Would you be offended if I asked you a personal question?" she inquired. Her tone was light as though it were nothing serious, but it certainly was very serious to her. If there were anyone that could help her find Lightpaw, she had no doubt that it was Longstride. But of course, she couldn't ask outright. If anyone thought she'd go running off after her sister, they'd probably stop her.

tags: open
words: 336
notes: xxx

coded by DESTINY of Broken Kingdoms

[Running]

Longstride didn’t miss how Brookshade bristled when he mentioned ThornClan’s reputation. It was a funny thing, the way reputation played with reality. Honest cats could be tainted in name, and often many of the most unethical cats were those who purported to be fair and honorable.

Her subsequent words echoed those he had heard around the camp for moons, only increasing in frequency as the season fell. ThornClan had always been proud and aggressive, but the urgent need to act before leaf-bare only amplified it.

“Our weakness becomes our strength,” he said, nodding. He felt it was more as if the clan had been cornered than tricked, but he agreed with the majority of her sentiments.

A crisp breeze sent the branches creaking. Scents carried to him: the musty forest floor, fresh needles fallen, a deep chill from the frost coated peaks in the distance. Beneath his paws rocks jutted out from the bed of needles, rough and jagged. Times were going to change, one way or another, greatness or destruction.

Despite her frustration at the clan’s state, the she-cat certainly seemed to be relaxing a little more, her cold demeanor somewhat fading.

"You're easier to talk to than I thought you would be, Longstride."

The tom tilted his head slightly at the unexpected comment, fur prickling as her eyes glanced up and down his frame. Puzzled, Longstride didn’t manage to ask what she meant by that before Brookshade asked a question of her own.

“Errr, sure. I mean, no, I won’t, go ahead.”

When it came to things he learned and understood, products of seasons of training and listening, he could talk for suns. History and lore, tracking, the many facets of the territory, what the wind could tell you. When it came to speaking about himself, and really any topic that he didn’t put as much thought into, however, his ease crumbled. It wasn’t as if he didn’t partake in introspection-merely that he was not as confident in his grasp as the facts as he was with other matters. Ironic in a sense-shouldn’t one understand himself first and foremost.

Still, he was too polite to shut her off immediately, despite his instincts telling him that her light tone might belie a heavier matter. Besides, he couldn’t help but be curious.

[TatlTael]

All I Really Know is Life's too Short

A spark of satisfaction flickered through Brookshade's eyes as Longstride agreed to answer her question. The only problem was that she actually had more than one question she wanted to ask. She supposed it would be best to start at the beginning to inadvertently get the answers she really wanted. To be honest, another thought had crossed her mind. This would be a really good opportunity to get some answers she was really curious about.
"To be honest, there's more than one thing I want to know," she confessed. "But you can stop me any time." She would hate if he stopped her.
For a moment, she fell quiet again, mulling over her final decision in her head. Was it a good one? There was a chance he'd be offended by the question even if he said he wouldn't be. Most of the clan made a point of pretending Longstride's brother had never existed. She took a deep breath before continuing.
"Do you miss your brother?" she asked, her tail stiffening slightly and betraying her unease at her own question. She hated to relate Longstride to her own struggle, especially because she was sure that Longstride hadn't scared away his brother the way she felts she had done to Lightpaw. Her next words were very quick and mildly apologetic. "I mean, it's okay to say no if you really hated him or something."

tags: open
words: 240
notes: xxx

coded by DESTINY of Broken Kingdoms

[Running]

Longstride blinked slowly as Brookshade pulled her thoughts together. More and more her nervousness seemed less like mere awkwardness and more like there was something more pressing at paw. He nodded as if to say “go on”, then waited, intrigued.

Then came her question.

Oh.

Of course.

Of all the personal questions, she had to go right for that one.

He paused, not really knowing what to say.

After all these moons, Longstride still didn’t know how he did feel about his brother, about his choice all those moons ago. He didn’t display the deep loathing and disgust and shame his parents and many of his clanmates exhibited, but neither did he speak of his brother. Apart from when he was alone with his closest friends, didn’t he play that charade, going along with that illusion that Wingfoot had never existed?

No, it wasn’t hate. That much the warrior knew.

There’s so much out there! How can you possibly be happy limiting your life to this barren corner of the world? Even after all these moons, the voice rang accusingly in his ears.

Although distant, Longstride could recall the moons of their training traversing the unknown, facing the unpredictable, the everchanging. A traitorous voice in the back of his mind hissed that his talents were being wasted in the confines of a clan. Which wasn’t true, he argued. Studying and guarding a corner of the world so deeply that you understood its patterns and nature as well, if not better, than yourself, did that not have its own merits? Did not remaining with your loved ones matter? There were some chains worth having.

We swore to protect our clan, even at the cost of our lives! Did that mean nothing to you?

And Wingfoot, carefree, intense, yet strangely delicate Wingfoot. Had he not understood his brother half as much as he had thought? Still, looking back, it was not like a sudden storm that broke from a clear Greenleaf sky, but more like a pile of stones shifting beneath the endless pounding of the rains that he had hoped, possibly against all sense, would never collapse.

Longstride sighed, adopting the world-weary stance that he had grown accustomed to displaying despite his relative youth. He didn’t know Brookshade well, and was hesitant to give any indication that he empathized with someone who was, for all intents and purposes, a traitor.

“When you grew up with someone, how could you not miss them?” he said simply. He maintained his calm and rational demeanor, although there was a slight tension about his frame.

Whether it was missing the tom Wingfoot once was or the tom he had become, Longstride would not say.

[TatlTael]

All I Really Know is Life's too Short

She could tell that her question had put off Longstride by the way his whole body stiffened. She'd known it would be a dangerous question, and was regretting asking it slightly. Still, that's not to say that Brookshade wasn't somewhat happy with the answer when it was finally delivered. She wondered if she pressed if he would be upset with her.
I was just wondering, she said quietly. Because I know what it's like to lose a sibling. Lightpaw and I weren't very close when she disappeared, but she was still my sister. Her ears flicked slightly and her gaze lowered. "I know nobody talks about your brother and all, but no matter what he's still your brother, you know?"
To be perfectly honest, Brookshade was silently praying to Starclan she didn't sound like a total sap. Hopefully what she was saying would strike enough of a chord with Longstride to open something of a door between them.
If you ever want to talk about him, I'd be willing to listen, she added, tone almost indicating that this was an insignificant addition. I'm always thinking about fun things that Lightpaw and I used to do together. Things that I miss. Sometimes it's good to talk about things like that.

    

tags: open
words: 208
notes: xxx

coded by DESTINY of Broken Kingdoms

[Running]

((ooc: Longstride: I’m sorry, you must be at least a level 4 friend before you can unlock my tragic backstory.))

“Thanks,” he said, although he didn’t add anything further. Sure, Brookshade was his clanmate, but...no, it was not the right time.

He shifted from paw to paw, glancing up at the sky again. No signs of approaching storms, judging by the air and the few clouds present drifted across the sky.

On the surface, their losses were the same. A sibling vanished and no closure. There was always the hope that StarClan would bring them back, and at the same time, the fear. Were they happy, where they were? Would they even meet in the next life?

In essence, however, they were entirely different. One, a wayward warrior, deemed a traitor for abandoning his clan in the reckless pursuit of his own desires. The other, an unusually timid (by ThornClan standards) but respected medicine cat apprentice, the circumstances of her disappearance unknown.

Still, he didn’t want to seem entirely like he was shutting her off, even if he wasn’t going to speak about his brother. From what he had seen, Brookshade wasn’t one to generally open her heart to others. It would be exceptionally rude if he dismissed her.

And other clans claim ThornClan has no manners or tact. To be certain, as a whole we’re rather blunt and argumentative, but we protect and care for our own.

“What drew you to speak of this now, of all times?” Longstride asked.

Possibly she just never had a chance. They had gone on some patrols together, but they had always been with other warriors in tow. Or maybe her feelings about her sister were a dam at the back of her mind, ready to topple at the slightest prompting. StarClan knows he felt that way some days.

Perhaps it was a missed opportunity, but Longstride still had difficulty parsing through his feelings on that matter, nevermind explaining them to another.

[TatlTael]

All I Really Know is Life's too Short

A displeased groan nearly escaped Brookshade's lips at Longstride's reluctance to open up. She wasn't asking for much. She didn't need all the dirty details or anything. She thought that he might talk a bit more about the pleasant times. She wasn't foolish in thinking that their cases were identical, but how else was she supposed to get Longstride to talk about the sort of things he learned during the great journey and living in exile? Directness was not an option.
    And now he was the one being direct? Why did he have to do that. Brookshade inwardly let out a snort of annoyance, but externally a slight disapproval flickered across her eyes. How was she supposed to respond to something so direct, anyway?
    Just being conversational, she replied. We've never talked much, and to be fair, I've always been a bit of a busy body. She gave something of an airy dismissive laugh. Curiosity and all.
    Her stub of a tail swayed a bit as she shifted her weight to the other side comfortably, ears angling outward slightly as though trying to dismiss the topic from herself. Not that Brookshade didn't enjoy talking about herself, but right now that wasn't particularly her goal. How else could she get him to talk about himself?
    Do you ever miss the times before the clans came here? she asked casually, calmly glancing at him again. I mean, I don't remember it of course. I wasn't born. But most of the older cats like to talk about it from time to time.

    

tags: open
words: 258
notes: Pffft. Friendship.

coded by DESTINY of Broken Kingdoms